Today I got a confirmation text from the office of my Surgeon-to-be!
I’m excited and nervous.
But I’m ready.
This part of my journey in life started a few months ago.
Well, really it started many many years ago – but this particular part of my journey started a few months ago…
I am fortunate that I am able to work at home, and am therefore able to modify my schedule as required, depending on my pain levels, health and abilities each day.
I am a Farmer, and my ‘job’ is to steward our small-holding with the intention of producing healthy food for us to eat fresh, and to also preserve in various ways for later times.
I am a Homesteader.
I have been steadily gaining weight over the last few years, which culminated in me going to the doctor with various chronic pain issues that had been added to all my other issues.
My back has been an issue for a lot of years, but I was now also needing steroid injections into my hips every three months, just to try to help keep me mobile, as the pain was so bad.
On one of my recent visits back in September I weighed in at almost 102 kg.
This was the first time my weight had ever hit triple digits, and I was horrified.
I have been vaguely tossing up the idea of having weight loss surgery for quite some time over the previous years, and my Doctors and I had discussed it as an option a few times over the approximately twelve months prior, but now – seeing that number – push had finally come to shove – and I was now ready!
So, during a camping trip away on the weekend of my birthday – towards the end of September – I finally seriously broached it with my Wife, and together we decided that it was time to go ahead with the idea; and make it a reality.
When we got home after our weekend away I immediately called my GP but was unable to schedule an appointment for approximately six weeks. At the time, it felt like such a long time to wait but he was away on holidays and was already heavily booked on his return.
In the meantime I spent my ‘spare time’ researching and researching and researching, and had chosen a Surgeon who felt ‘right’ to me, so I pre-emptively contacted his clinic and requested an appointment for a date that would be after my GP visit; as it would be at my next GP visit that I would get the referral for my preferred Surgeon.
The Surgeon approved me making a preemptive appointment, and his Receptionist contacted me with a suggested date of December 19th.
This was back at the end of September, so I was rather disappointed that the appointment was so far away, but I accepted as it was the earliest available one.
It was at this time that I realised I had unknowingly been hoping to be operated on prior to the end of the year, but getting the initial surgical appointment so close to Christmas, meant that my sub-conscious hope was no longer a possibility…
That’s ok – I told myself.
More time to research the different procedures, the pros and cons of each surgery, and read a billion first hand stories of others who had gone through the process and lived to tell the good and not-so-good tales!
More time to find out about what the recommended foods are for each stage of the post surgery recovery.
More time to get my head right with understanding my distorted thoughts around food and ‘diet culture’.
And that’s exactly what I have done.
I have read tons of articles and medical journals.
I have joined a number of support groups.
I have read and listened to hours and hours of pre, during, and post surgery first person accounts.
I have become more mindful of how, why, where and when I eat.
I have taught myself to be conscious about my hydration, and am making it a priority.
I have started on multivitamin supplements.
I have trialled various VLCD* / meal replacement products in readiness for my pre-surgery prep.
I have commenced monitoring my activity, and now wear a watch that helps with that.
I am monitoring my weight (approx) weekly to ensure that I don’t get any heavier, and thus make my recovery even more difficult, and the loss of excess weight a more lengthy process.
I’ve even managed to lose a little weight in the last few months, despite going away for a three week holiday – our first in four years!
So here I am.
Three days away from meeting the man whom I hope will be my Surgeon.
Three days away from being another step closer to getting allocated a day for my procedure.
Three days closer to something that at this point I can only imagine will be a life-changing event that will not only take time for me to learn about, but will also be a life-long tool that will help me to become a healthier me.
I hope future me is a bit more confident in herself and doesn’t try to disappear into the background of ‘life’.
I hope she is a more physically involved Wife, Mother and LilG
I hope she has another thirty years with her beloved Wife.
I hope she is alive to see her Children and Grand-Children grow.
I have so many hopes for Future Me…
*VLCD – very low calories diet